Mr. Glass

Dear Mr. Glass,

I regret to inform you that the Ministry of Love has denied your request. Swashbuckling is now considered illegal in over thirty countries, and I suggest you and your comrades find a new hobby such as puddle jumping or Canasta.

As a valued customer, your opinions matter greatly to us, so please don't hesitate to contact me via telegram if you have any comments or concerns. I hope you enjoy the remainder of the summer holidays.

Yours,

Calgary Bow
Executive Assistant to the Vice Minister.