Dearest Elizabeth

Dearest Elizabeth,

Although I have enjoyed many conversations and have mused greatly on different points we have made, I generally think you are slutty and self-involved. Though we may share blood, that does not make it acceptable to steer every conversation at the beach back to your half accomplished do-nothings. The family merely smiles and nods to be polite. I am writing this letter to let you know we are all disappointed in you.

Yours,
Calgary Bow, Esq.